Proper 19, Yr A (2023) The Rev. Karen C. Barfield
Proper 19, Yr A (2023) The Rev. Karen C. Barfield
Romans 14:1-12 St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church
Matthew 18:21-35
In the name of God:
Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifying Spirit. Amen.
God bless Peter:
he’s still trying to get it right!
“Lord,” he says, “if another member of the church sins against me,
how often should I forgive?
As many as seven times?”
That is pretty generous thinking as far as Peter is concerned,
and it likely would be for us, too,
when you stop and think about it.
Peter is asking how much,
how many times,
to forgive someone within the church community who gives offense.
If he had been asking about a family member,
you might think the number would be higher,
but he’s asking about someone who’s not related by blood.
So, one time is fine,
two seems reasonable,
three is Trinitarian,
but four is starting to push it.
If someone hurts me:
lies to me,
bickers with me,
takes advantage of me,
accuses me
four times (or more),
it’s really pushing the envelope for me to keep on forgiving.
So, forgiving the same person seven times does seem quite generous.
Wrong again, Peter.
As we hear over and over again in the Gospels,
Kingdom living –
or as one translation reads, “kindom living” -
operates on a different calculus than our own.
“How often should I forgive?”
“Not seven times, [Jesus says] but, I tell you, seventy-seven times
(or depending on the translation even seventy X seven times).”
What that really means is this:
forgive infinitely.
Here’s how the Kingdom works:
The king begins reckoning accounts with his servants.
The first servant owes him 10,000 talents.
That would be the equivalent of 150,000 years’ wages for an average worker.
No matter how he came across that much money,
much less owed it to someone else…
it’s an insane, absurd amount of money – and debt…
there is no way the servant can pay that back,
so the king orders that all his possessions be taken
and that he, his wife, and children be sold.
The servant asks for patience and promises to pay back the debt.
So, the king has pity and forgives the entire debt.
No strings attached.
The man and his family are free.
Remarkably, though, when this servant comes across a fellow servant who owes him 100 denarii - only 3 months’ wages - he has no pity and throws him in jail, demanding repayment.
Now, lest we jump too quickly to judge the unforgiving man,
let’s take an honest look at our own lives.
When I was a sophomore in college there was a guy who never said a nice word to me.
In fact, he was mean.
He was petty and judgmental and angry every time I saw him.
He lived in my dorm, so he was difficult to avoid.
Every time I saw him my heart would crinkle with pain
and anger
and resentment.
Since he never apologized,
I never forgave his offenses.
Barbara Brown Taylor calls resentment “arthritis of the spirit.”
It is crippling and invades every portion of one’s life: emotional, spiritual, physical.
One day it came into my head to begin to pray for this guy,
and I discovered that in praying for him,
it became difficult to resent him and be angry with him.
I became connected to him through prayer.
At year-end, I left to spend my junior year overseas.
I no longer gave him any thought.
When I returned my senior year,
I learned that he had been diagnosed with brain cancer,
and the tumor had been located in the part of the brain that controls emotion and anger.
After treatment for cancer, he was a different person.
He was friendly and kind.
Perhaps his brush with mortality had played a role as well.
Whatever the case,
that taught me that we never really know what is going on with someone else –
and acting with generosity towards others is a good thing to do.
I think it is human nature to guard ourselves,
to protect ourselves from pain.
When someone else offends us or hurts us in some way,
it can be easier not to forgive them and hold them at arm’s length
rather than to forgive and risk being hurt again.
To forgive one time is OK,
two times is reasonable,
three times is very generous,
the fourth time I am more likely going to maintain my barriers and protect myself.
490 times?
Are you kidding?
It’s not even imaginable!
But that is how God relates to us.
Forgive, forgive, and forgive some more.
That much forgiveness can be hard to receive.
In the Rite of Reconciliation in the Book of Common Prayer,
after the penitent has confessed their sins, the priest says:
“Now there is rejoicing in heaven; for you were lost, and are found;
you were dead, and are now alive in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Go – abide in peace.
The Lord has put away all your sins.” (BCP 451)
All your sins!
If we really believe that forgiveness
and let God’s grace sink into our own lives,
then we are able to extend God’s grace to others…
one time,
two times,
three times,
seven times
Yes, even seven times seventy times.
Nowadays when I’m standing in the checkout line at the grocery
or am buying stamps at the post office
or have a customer service representative act rudely toward me on the phone,
I just assume the other person is having a bad day.
Maybe they have a loved one who is critically ill,
or perhaps the last thing that happened when they left home that morning was a fight with a family member,
maybe their job is hanging in the balance,
or they are overcome with grief or anxiety.
You never know.
It’s a prime opportunity to lift them to God in prayer – for healing the hurts in their life.
Now, back to Peter’s question:
“Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive?”
In a sermon years ago, the Rev. Claiborne Jones offered this definition of forgiveness:
“At its root, to forgive is to give future to a relationship…
to give a relationship a chance to change,
to grow,
to be alive,
whether it be between persons, neighborhoods, schools, or countries.”
(taken from Women of the Word, p. 57)
When we choose not to forgive,
we are harming our own selves as much as we are harming another.
We are closing off the possibility of reconciliation and transformation.
We are denying the possibility of allowing God’s grace to penetrate our deepest wounds and heal us.
“Forgive,” Jesus says.
“Forgive and forgive and forgive….”
Without forgiveness,
the Kingdom will never come.
When we practice forgiveness,
we are free to love one another.
We cease to live our lives in judgment of others
and instead focus on opportunities for new life.
Whether we experience 10,000 talent offenses
or 100 denarii offenses,
we are called to forgive and forgive and forgive some more….
for through such forgiveness we extend God’s mercy to the world.
Amen.
